Budgeting

My family faced a dilemma. Our credit had been just too good, and we were deeply in debt. I wasn't losing my job, but I wanted to leave. I wanted to be home with my two young boys. In fact, I felt disheartened by my job, and believed that keeping it would begin to make me physically ill. Stress does that, you know.

Coping with stress. At the time, we had bought our house at the peak of the housing market. We had a variable mortgage, and the payments were rising. Yet, if we tried to sell the house, we realized that values had fallen. We wouldn't be able to sell for the amount of our mortage. That meant the down payment we had saved and scrimped to make would be lost, too, because the house was "upside down." It couldn't cover the mortgage and pay us back what we had paid in as our equity. On top of all that, we had credit card debt. We owed money on our cars. We owed stores money for our furniture. We were paying for someone to clean the house, someone to mow the lawn, someone to take care of the children, restaurants to cook our food, dry cleaners to do our laundry, and endless retail establishments to provide us with distractions and baubles to ease our pain of living. Buying things had become our way of anesthetizing ourselves to the truth that was deep inside: we were not doing what we wanted to do. We were not living with integrity.

It wasn't true that serving the corporate masters was the culmination of our life's dream. Selling products was not fulfilling. Arranging corporate deals was not meaningful. It didn't matter that we'd gone to school and prepared for doing this – the work was no good.

Cash flow planning. And so, my husband and I sat down and decided to make a change. I don't know what I would have done if he had not agreed. He did agree, so we didn't have to find out. We decided there were some principles of importance to us, that we had to live by. They were:

1. Take time to smell the roses. What is the point of a life of stress? Does anyone ever say on their epitaph, I wish I had worked harder? We determined to enjoy our life with our boys and together. We decided to put family first.

2. Acknowledge our place in the universe. There is more to a life than passing its time. The miracle of life deserves respect, and gratitude for the opportunity to live it. We determined to know our spiritual side, and connect with nature and the Earth for a deeper meaning. We wanted to take our children out of the city, to a place where they would know trees and learn to fish. We wanted them to see the night sky full of stars. We wanted them to learn the feel of the dirt when you plant a garden. We wanted them to taste fresh tomatoes.

3. Follow our hearts. Ancient philosophers and poets have always told us we have a reason for being alive in the universe. Deep in our hearts, it is said that this meaning has been written in each of us. If we cannot search our hearts to find it, it will work too hard, trying to get out. Then we will have disease and heart ache. For the sake of our health and longevity, we decided to learn to hear the message of our hearts. We decided to hear it and heed it, wherever it led us. We thought this was the only way to live with integrity.

With these three principles in mind, my husband and I set out to change our situation. This website chronicles our trials and tribulations, our successes and failures, and the insights we picked up along the way. We hope it will offer you a tool to choose your own path, find your own way, follow your own heart, and live with the integrity of your soul. Whatever nuggets of usefulness you may choose to select from it, we hope it will help you to one day say:

I am the Master of My Universe.